Church

Just a small topic to tackle on the front of sabbatical.

Jason and I agreed that part of our sabbatical rhythm would be attending church gatherings when we were able. It feels like the perfect window of opportunity to experience different expressions of the church...and we don't have to lead anything! We get to participate, listen, worship, and just "be."

Last weekend provided the perfect opportunity. We have friends in Colorado who meet weekly in house churches. We know the leaders of the network but that was the extent of our familiarity.

As we walked up the driveway to attend their evening gathering it dawned on me that I knew near nothing about this church. I found myself rehearsing the names of the hosts I'd just read in a text. Total strangers to me that I'd soon be worshipping and praying with. "Thank you for having us. You're so kind to make space. We've heard wonderful things about you." Before we reached the front door Elie, my 8 year old, asked me, "Mom, do you know them?"

"No", I answered. "But I know they love Jesus and that's enough tonight."

I was immediately reminded of an experience I had 20 years earlier. I was walking with friends through tight alleys in a Chinese city. We were looking for red chalk marks on the walls that would discretely lead us to a gathering of believers who were prepared to welcome us for the first time.

I remember the feeling I had when we found our hosts. They welcomed us in with huge smiles. Names were exchanged. Hand shakes, hugs, tea offered, snacks shared. And then we were ushered to our places to join the chorus of worship. It was the same scene then that it was now in Colorado. Hospitality and love for Jesus characterized our evening.

For a brief moment I thought about our theology and the nuances our our faith. Truthfully, there are positions I have given a lot of time to lately that are never far from my mind. Sure we agree on the virgin birth, the death and resurrection of Christ, the role of the Church. But where do you stand on gay marriage, on nationalism, and women in ministry? What do you think about praying in tongues and what model of church do you believe to be the most effective for discipleship?

Those things just don't matter when you're knocking on the door of strangers. You want to know that they are kind and believe the Gospel.

I realize that for the next 3 months we have the luxury of not asking the tough questions at each church visit. Theology, doctrine, and biblical interpretation really, REALLY do matter. They can make for a healthy community or a dysfunctional family. But when you're only passing through you can get away with enjoying the fellowship, conversation, and worship for what it is, a window into the lives of fellow believers in a different culture. A visitor can more easily "eat the meat and spit out the bones" because there is no responsibility to the congregation.

And this brings me to my moment. I've been an elder of a local church and overseer of a home church network for several years. One of my tasks -along with10 other elders - is overseeing doctrine. We take our jobs very seriously as shepherds of the congregation. We want everyone in our care to grow into mature disciples who are rooted in love, unable to be tossed back and forth by false teachings. It's in the job description.

When you get into the weeds, the role feels very serious indeed. It's easy to become critical of expressions of church that feel unhelpful, unhealthy, or unbiblical because you're trying to protect people you love. But critical is not good. Critical can become dangerous. So, sabbatical comes at the perfect time for me. With space and rest and play and reflection comes perspective; and perspective is a wonderful thing.

In this case, gaining perspective means falling deeper in love with the church by showing up at a stranger's door again. It's looking forward - with eager expectation and an open heart - to whatever may come. It's void of self-protection and judgement. It's falling in love with the megachurch, the home church, the liturgical church, and the sacred solo hike. There will be many expressions of prayer and worship during these 12 weeks. I look forward to all of them.

I will need to intentionally stretch the muscles of love and grace. Turn off the questions of how everyone's finances are being stewarded, how leadership is being trained and multiplied, and whether or not the "mission" is actually happening. It's a window of time when I get to legitimately say those things are not my responsibility. Moreso, they're none of my business...and right now, that feels really important.

I open myself to the experience, quiet my questions and pray...

Lead me down the alley as you did years ago, Lord. through the twists and turns, following the signs of the spirit. As I walk through the door of your Son, reintroduce me to your family, the Church, and teach me that you are the One True Elder, Head of the Body, fully capable of shepherding a flock. I look forward to meeting you in every setting to come and humbling myself to receive your teaching, your hospitality, and your Bride in new ways.